Thursday, April 21, 2016

Indigenous Shit & Self-Righteous Bastards

DDGD April 22, 2016  

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Today’s Post is brought to you by…   

Society of Self-Righteous Bastards Who Could Care Less About Being Consistently Wrong: So What?

Table of current IGDs in anchor countries

Index of Global Delirium

United States of America
United Kingdom
Saudi Arabia
South Africa

The Index reflects the state of delirium in a particular country using a 1 to 10 count, with 10 denoting the highest level of delirium. Levels of delirium change on the basis of current development in said country, such as instability, terrorism, elections, sports events and the like,  as well as relevant global developments such financial meltdowns, certain leaks, and stock market indices. Countries shown above are among those where fluctuation in the national and local indices have a greater global impact than is the case with other countries. Note: levels of violence and delirium do not always coincide. Indeed, a country can have a high delirium level even though it is relatively stable. 

Featured Quote

“My concern at the time was … that the next time we say to someone, ‘There are consequences if you act,’ we won’t really mean that. I think that this has repercussions in Europe, in Asia, and elsewhere. I think sometimes, on the credibility point, on the deterrence point, you actually have to be willing to do things that are a cost to you.” Philip Gordon on President Obama’s decision not to bomb Assad in September of 2013 following the latter’s use of chemical weapons against besieged rebel communities.

The Deliricon

Freakionaire: A billionaire entrepreneur who languishes under the belief that the world owes him a moral debt and should recognize his genius.

Trumpledore: A wizard that lacks wisdom, mirth and intelligence, but who has lots of money, which makes all the difference.  

Tedcruzemia: An ailment that befalls certain politicians making them see victory in defeat, acceptance in rejection and signs of likeability in mass hysterical gag reflexes at their very sight. The inflicted are the kind of politicians who often fail to get sincere endorsements even from their mothers. Physical manifestations of the disease include: severe halitosis, bloating of the innards and the ego alike, small oily hands, large yellowish toenails and fried brains.

The TED Balks: The mass departure, or balking, of audiences whenever Senator Ted Cruz shows up for an event, unless, that is, they were held at gun point. Sociologists and Mass Psychologists often refer to this phenomenon as a further proof of another phenomenon known as “wisdom of the crowd.”

Cruzify-A-Muslim Day: An annual event organized by the family of Senator Ted Cruz to teach Christian compassion to Muslims by flailing few of them alive and burning bags full of asylum applications submitted by Muslim refugees. The event has become so popular, it is rumored the GOP plans to adopt it as a baptismal rite for entering the RNC.

The Kasich: A type of LASIK surgery that enables people to see the world in a spectrum ranging from bland to meh.

The Hershy Tar: A special kind of odorous tar that comes out of the mouth of those afflicted by the Seymour Hersh Disease (SHD), a rare ailment to which certain narcissists who were once famous but are no longer relevant or in full possession of their faculties succumb. Symptoms include obsessive commitment to tarnishing truths and inventing facts coupled with over-reliance on the kind of “trustworthy” sources that can always be relied upon to come up with the convenient lies. The “trustworthy” lies can then be deployed by the afflicted for the purpose of constructing new conspiracy theories that can help them retrieve their long lost relevance all while maintaining an aura of independence and, even, anti-establishmentarianism, which, in turn, could help them maintain credibility with members of the International Left. Although, there is no known cure for SHD, one of the most effective methods for controlling its symptoms requires for the afflicted to gather enough of their own Hershy Tar to actually tar and feather themselves repeatedly over a period of 2-3 months every year. The science behind the correlation is not known, but scientists hope that once they understand it, they will be able to find a cure. 

The International Left: A consortium of useful idiots from different professional and ethnic backgrounds who, wittingly and/or unwittingly, dedicate their otherwise empty lives to serving the imperial designs of various autocracies from around the world in the name of peace.

The Exotic Observations & Propositions of Delirian Mundi
Known to those of his followers seeking his canonization and entry into the Valtheon of Deliriology, as Agnus Mundi, and to his detractors as Ranae Dei and even Capra Satanae, Delirian Mundi’s writings, mixing satire and philosophical reflections, continue to be polarizing, inspiring both adulation and ridicule. Bearing this in mind, we, the editors at DDGD, continue to publish these previously unknown series of “exotic observations and propositions,” as Delirian himself referred to them, as part of our continuing commitment to instigate debate over sensitive issues.

* In order to survive this particularly turbulent phase in our global evolution, small states need to distance themselves from ideology becoming extremely pragmatic and flexible in their politics, both on the domestic and international fronts. They should also realize that the long-term benefits of democracy in this regard far outweigh the short gains that autocratic rule can bestow.

* Small and less powerful states are no less prone to imperialist ventures than larger and more powerful states. In fact, imperialist ventures by small states account for most conflicts in the world today, and throughout history. For the benefit of those who insist on treating certain regions of the world as an enclosed ecosystem, let’s call this phenomenon: indigenous imperialism, and let’s define it as the phenomenon where smaller less powerful states attempt to cannibalize each other, or at least prey on each other’s weakness, in an attempt to grow stronger and become more relevant to developments on the global stage.

The Delirica

A case of Indigenous Imperialism: What's wrong with the Middle East today is something quite Middle Eastern. Those who blame America and the West miss the fact their meddling in contemporary ME affairs, which, historically speaking, was very much in line with how states behaved since the beginning of civilization, would have been quite different in nature and would have had less negative impact had the prevailing political culture in the region not harkened back on outmoded paternalistic and inflexible models, and had the most popular political parties in the region not been willfully modeled by their indigenous founders along fascist lines.

This habit of focusing only on outside forces, especially America and the West, and blaming them for the ills suffered by the peoples of the region, not only infantilizes them, but it has served to reinforce their sense of victimhood and to stifle a more free debate of the causes of their modern malaise. Moreover, the habit of those engaging in this kind of “analysis,” to equate the concept of foreign intervention with Western intervention, misses the far more negative consequences of Russian imperialism and dabbling in the region, from pre-Soviet times to post-Soviet times. It also misses the role of internal power players, such as Iran, Turkey, Saudi Arabia and Egypt in fomenting strife in various spots in the region and far beyond to serve their particular agendas.

Yet, the problem is not simply one of political culture: conflicting ambitions among the different regional power players and their conflicting interests are also at play here. See how Delirian Mundi defined Indigenous Imperialism above.

When Liberals Go Bad: If I blame the Obama Administration for failing to address the Syrian Genocide, and for congratulating itself on the matter, it's because America is a global power with global responsibilities, and not some aspiring JV Team just emerging on the global scene. Shirking these responsibilities in the name of avoiding entanglements in foreign “messes,” not “doing stupid shit,” not dictating outcomes of “other people’s civil wars,” even though an examination of its behavior indicates selectivity rather than avoidance, is capricious and hypocritical. The logic Obama used to justify his intervention in Libya amply applies to Syria, especially in the first year when nonviolent protest movements dominated the scene and for most of the second year when rebels did not need to be described as moderate for that was the underlying reality.  Obama has never explained why he didn’t intervene then, and none of his interviewers ever challenged him on this point. Rather, Obama and his realist advisers were allowed to frame the Syrian conflict in their own terms as a civil war, a mess and the land of ISIS without having to explain how we got there.

Though they project themselves as rational smart and mostly dovish actors, the Realists are nothing less than amoral bastards who deprived their foreign policies of any ethical, moral or humanitarian input. By casting America in terms no different than those of Russia, China or an Iran, they did not simply rebel against claims of American exceptionalism, they rebelled against America’s very values. In the process, neither America nor the world is better off for that. Working solely for the material benefits of the realm is exactly what traditional imperialism is all about. So, under the guidance of liberal realists, America finally became what people like Noam Chomsky and others have been accusing her of being: a vicious empire. The man’s critique of America has finally become relevant, and it took the literal left to get there us there.

The realists’ propaganda machine is scary. Again, and while so many are focused on the Right and the Neocons, the Realists of the liberal camp have done more to undermine democracy at home than all. This is not surprising. After all, they are modeling their foreign policies along traditional amoral lines, which put them in the same camp as the autocratic regimes in Russia, China and Iran. This cannot happen without ramifications at home. Hence, the administration opaqueness and lack of transparency and its engagement in propaganda and downright lies. They lied methodologically and consistently, and excelled where the previous administration proved amateurish. Ah, when liberals go bad, they excel at it, for the detriment of all.    

The Daily Delirynth

Note to the Wise: Though I am an ardent critic of Saudi domestic and foreign policies, I consider all critics of these policies that fail to criticize Iran as well and on similar grounds, that is, supporting terrorism and extremism and violations of basic human rights at home and abroad to be quite hypocritical and ideologically motivated, and that the net result of any policies based on their skewed point of view is to help further destabilize the Middle East. Lack of consistency is the quintessence of hypocrisy. Those who honestly seek to contain the spread of extremism and terrorism in the world and beyond should adopt a more balanced approach to the region, and the ongoing realignments of its powers, including Saudi Arabia, Iran, Turkey, Egypt, and, now that it has carved a seemingly permanent niche for itself there: Russia as well. Let’s not pretend this is going to be easy, definitely not after standing by for so long watching on as Iran and Russia helped Assad massacre his people, and insisting to do so even now. But it is necessary, for strategic and humanitarian purposes.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu tours the Golan Heights near the Syrian border, April 11, 2016. (Kobi Gideon/GPO)

A New Outbreak of the Yahu Virus Reported in the Region: Those familiar with the Deliricon may remember our groundbreaking diagnosis of a new virulent form of an old regional disease which we dubbed, appropriately as many have since suggested, as the Benjamin Netanyahu Disease or the BENNET Syndrome. The disease, you may recall was caused by a sudden outbreak and spread of the Yahu Virus, and was “characterized by having too much hate in one’s heart that it ends up frying one’s brain, turning one into a veritable psychopathic ‘Yahu.’ Scientists also refer to indifference and cynicism as being major contributing factors in the spread of the disease.”

It seems the region is currently witnessing another outbreak, judging by the recent Yahuesque utterances of Israeli PM, Benajmin Netanyahu, for whom the new form of the disease was named. By declaring the occupied Golan Heights as a red line and vowing never to return them to Syria, despite the lack of any legitimate claim to them and the will of their original inhabitants, and in violation of the United Nations’ resolution in this regard, the will of Israel staunchest allies in the world, and he requirements of the any viable peace process, Mr. Netanyahu’s conditions seems to be taking a turn for the worse.

But, the Golan Heights are still a Syrian territory and there is no justification for its continued occupation by Israel, even if Israeli settlers continue to produce some damn good wine. Current changing realities in the region might necessitate coming up with far more creative solutions for its status in any future talks, but they do not change the reality that it is under occupation, and that is legally and morally Syrian.

However, if Israel is willing to allow approximately to 1 million people of Golanese descent to go back to their homes in the Occupied Golan, perhaps, then, the UN can arrange for a local referendum on the its future, giving the Golanese the choice either to stay with Israel, return to Syrian sovereignty under whatever regime that ends up governing the country, or establish an independent bi-national state. In this latter case, perhaps, a call can be issued for the inhabitants of the unoccupied parts of the Golan as well as the provinces of Daraa and Sweida in Southern Syria to join the new independent republic.

Take these recommendations with a bag of salt of course.

The point is: even as the possibility of holding viable talks about the future of the Golan seems impossible now, this, by no means, legitimates the occupation. If peace is still our goal, the language of compromise should continue to be employed, regardless of the current developments in Syria. Mr. Netanyahu has already rendered the possibility of serious peace talks with the Palestinians moot, and though the Palestinian side does share in the blame of course, especially Hamas, we cannot afford to keep allowing Mr. Netanyahu to run roughshod over the process if we are to keep the idea of a two-state solution viable. Otherwise, the countdown for a new larger conflagration in the region might accelerate beyond the possibility of intervention.

UN-brokered Intra-Syrian talks officially start in Geneva with opposition meeting

The Geneva Quagmire: I believe that the decision made by the Syrian opposition’s High Negotiations Committee to suspend their current participation in the Geneva talks is right. Earlier threats to boycott the process were nonsensical, but, at this stage, and considering the violations currently taking place mostly championed by the regime and its Russian and Iranian allies, and the current campaign against Aleppo, the suspension of talks is a legitimate and necessary move by the opposition. There is no more effective way for protest at this stage than to refuse to take part in what amounts to be a frivolous process.  The opposition, however, should retain continuous contacts with de Mistura’s office as well as its international and regional allies, no matter how fickle they have repeatedly proven to be. On a more positive note, and while he man has his faults, Riyad Hijab is emerging as the most professional leader the opposition has fielded so far.

Featured Tweet(s)

Featured Video(s)

Obama Apologizes to the Syrian People: In an expected twist, President Barack Obama just offered this apology to the Syrian people for failing to come to their aid for all these years. In his brief statement, President Obama said: “I was wrong on Syria, and I would like to offer my sincere apologies to the people of Syria, especially the nonviolent protesters and moderate rebels whom I have completely abandoned.” In a typical fashion, however, the President failed to offer any new initiative to address his failure.

Cartoons: The Cauldron

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