Friday, December 11, 2015

Donald, Shut Your Trump! Vladdie, Take Your “Last Resort” And Shove It!


DDGD December 11, 2015

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Today’s Post is brought to you by…  The Brotherhood of the High Chain-Linked Fence: We believe everyone is out to get us, which is why we are continuously trying to get everyone first. In the meantime, three cheers to our high good fence: it may not make good neighbors, or provide us with adequate protection, but it does help us maintain those comforting illusions.

The Delirica  

Condemnation coupled with no action or haphazard reluctant actions have kept Assad in power and killing for five years and counting, have facilitated the resurgence of IS/Daesh and the rise of Trumpmania and other fascist currents around the world, have empowered Iran and Russia as they embark on new imperial ventures, and have cost the lives of hundreds of thousands of civilians and dislocated millions of people. This is the price of not doing “stupid things.” Would an early intervention against Assad have produced worse results?

The Deliricon  

Trumpeces: A viral disease that affects the brain resulting in the production of the brain’s equivalent of fecal matter, unsurprisingly known as the brown matter, which, once it reaches a certain threshold, leads to a severe case of sepsis, random firing of neurons, and the poisoning of the infected’s mind, soul and thoughts. Although the disease is known to be always present on a small scale in various spots around the world, major outbreaks are known to happen every two to three decades, often resulting in rise of fascist currents in countries around the world. The affected population is usually referred to as the Trumpen Proletariat. But the virus itself is known as the Trumpioca Virus, and is known to emerge in clusters buried in one’s own feces. Trumpioca can only be passed to the brain through direct and regular consumption of mass quantities of infected fecal matter over a longer period of time, usually 2-4 months. This makes the recurrence of major outbreaks of the disease, or any outbreaks of it for that matter, a rather baffling phenomenon for scientists who are at a loss when it comes to understanding why so many people who could afford regular food choose to gorge themselves on infected feces over a long period of time, considering that even populations hard hit by famine tend to avoid consuming fecal matter. The issue continues to be hotly debated in medical circles around the world, which most scientists agreeing that further field research is needed.

Trumputin: A nightmarish creature by all accounts, but whose existence in the real world can still be averted. If not, then, you may look for the chronicles of its misadventures in The Misadventures of Donny Boy and Vladdipus.

Vladdipus: AKA Platyputin, is a semi-aquatic creature known to inhabit the Moskva River and its environs, with a special fondness for the Kremlin’s hallways where he is known to roam at night howling at the invisible moon of his despair. The Vladdipus lives by feeding on fear and hesitation and defecating empty promises of grandeur. He is also known to go ballistic whenever his own schemes backfire on him.

The Daily Delirynth

The Occasional Trumpist: Donald Trump Pushes Back at British Petition to Bar Him. But the interesting question is: if the British decide to ban him, but he still gets elected, will the ban be removed? How awkward will it be for leaders around the world to deal with a fascist American president? Will Trump manage to find common ground with other fascists around the world? Will he become the Hitler to Putin’s Mussolini? And how will the success of fascism in America impact politics in Europe? Are we heading for an all-fascist world? And how fucked up has this world become so that we now have to seriously entertain such questions?

Unfortunately, the Donny Boy problem cannot be jettisoned into outer space no matter how much we want it to: Amazon Founder Offers To Send Donald Trump To Space.

But whatever happens in this crazy all-American electoral cycle, The Donald McTrumpus can rest assured of his place in the Fascist Valtheon (Valhalla + Pantheon), alongside such tenebrous figures as Hitler, Mussolini, Putin, Khameini, the Assad Dynasty and Omar Bashir, among many others. And, such is the nature of his genius he didn’t even have to kill anyone to get there.

UmReeka: Not to be outdone by his rival, Senator Marco Rubio, wants us to wait until the shit hits the fan in regard to discrimination against Muslims before we sound the alarm. But some claim that we might already be there: Yes, Senator Rubio, there’s plenty of evidence of discrimination against Muslim Americans. Strangely enough Rubio has been criticizing the Obama Administration for years for doing the same, that is, reveling in the faulty assumption that the problem is contained until the shit hits the fan, in regard to the Syrian conflict. Moreover, criticizing Donald Trump is not enough, Rubio and all other GOP candidates have amply demonstrated over the last few weeks that they have a serious problem addressing the question of this nation’s religious and national diversity, and this problem is bound to haunt them until they reconcile themselves to the fact that American is neither a Christian nor a White nation, and has always been diverse. In fact, even when the country’s Muslim population was too small to mention, the Founding Fathers still saw it important to address and defend the issue of Muslim rights: The fascinating history of how Jefferson and other Founding Fathers defended Muslim rights. GOP candidates need to educate their electorate not cater to their prejudices in this regard.

Fareed Zakaria: Trump's Anti-Muslim Rhetoric Polarizes Americans. So, Mr. Zakaria had decided, as an American first, and Muslims last, to add his own take on the Trump controversy. The problem with this is Zakarias’ failure to fathom how and his colleagues, who spent the last few years justifying and promoting Obama’s policy of nonintervention, especially in relations to the conflict in Syria, have actually contributed to the populist and fascist phenomenon that is Trumpmania. By advocating, in the name of realism, what was essentially an amoral policy that advocated and justified doing nothing to prevent or stop the mass slaughter in Syria, thus shirking America’s responsibility in holding the international order together, a dangerous process was set in motion, one that gradually led to this point in time. An amoral policy premised on the irrelevance of other people’s suffering, even as the worst humanitarian disaster to hit the modern world in decades unfolded, was debated and advocated in full light of day by the most liberal minds this country has ever known, ones who had previously advocated the reverse policy, how could this situation not serve to desensitize people to each other’s humanity.

Even now people are still struggling to come to grips with the environmental implications of our hyper-connectivity, the ethical and geostrategic implications involved will prove harder to fathom, even for the most brilliant minds. Still, one way or another, we have to get there: the ethical and humanitarian dilemmas of our world are finally beginning to have serious global geopolitical implications. Intervention in Syria was/is needed not only because it is the ethical thing to do, but because there are serious negative geopolitical considerations involved: global security and stability demand it.

The Bloody Misadventures of Vladdie the Pu: Putin vows to 'immediately destroy' any threaten to Russian forces in Syria. But wait, Vladdie doesn’t stop here, he goes further: Putin in threat to NUKE ISIS with submarine warheads if airstrikes fail to wipe out terror. This measure, however, will only be taken as “a last resort.” How comforting! Assad, Putin, Khamenei, Al-Baghdadi, Trump & Co… Who let all these psychopaths out?

The Faqihnameh:  Western Officials: Iran Retreating From Syria Fight. It seems Iranian top brass is not willing to shed their blood so far from home. But, Iran’s leaders are not actually giving up on the fight: Iran Recruits Pakistani Shias to Fight in Syria. In the meantime, Khamenei’s Counterrevolution Is UnderwayIranians thought the nuclear deal would spark a new relationship with the West. But the supreme leader had other plans.” So, rewarding bad behavior actually reinforces it? Hmm. Someone should document this finding, for posterity.  

North of Holy: Meanwhile, in the other accursed Holy Land, Assad says that he won’t negotiate with armed groups, but is busy buying oil from ISIS, and imposing tax on sandwiches to keep financing his genocide. And in those areas controlled by ISIS, a flesh-easting skin disease is making an unwelcome comeback.   

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