The Daily Digest of Global Delirium: Prologue

It has been almost 10,000 years since we built our first cities and called them states; 10,000 years since the beginning of civilization and the invention of organized politics and religion. Yet, and for all the time that has elapsed, and all the progress made, the gods and men seem more angry than they have ever been before, driven by primordial longings that remain unfulfilled and seemingly unfulfillable. We have now moved into the thick of a new century, the first in a new millennium in our haphazard existence, and the venomous rancor of the most powerful of our gods and men is threatening to plunge the world into a new era of darkness and delirium, as unnecessary and unfathomable as such development has always been. These are the chronicles of these mad and maddening times, recorded as they unfold for the benefit of a posterity that may not come to be, yet should it do so may need to understand from whence it did and how it managed to survive in the face of all odds, mayhap its children would learn from the mistakes that are now being made.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Praise the Lord

Our self-appointed Lord and Master holds his first cabinet meeting finally giving us all the chance and the blessing to praise him.

Not to be outdone, our other more subtle self-appointed Lord and Master awarded the honor of interviewing him to the great American fabulist Oliver Stone. The results were fabulous.

Meanwhile, an old Lord and Master wannabe is preparing his unceremonious exit, having giving up on his dream. What a loser. 


Our current Lord and Master is not a loser though, and, like nature, he, too, abhors a vacuum, except the one between his ears.    




Thursday, June 8, 2017

Lordy, the times they are a-fucking with our brains

“I can definitely say the President is not a liar”
Deputy White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Taking a leaf from Mr. James Comey’s playbook, “considering the nature of the person” we are dealing with, meaning Trump, we should indeed expect and prepare for the worst.

And the worst may unfold over a longer period of time than most American may want. 


And while the President’s staff may rush to join his lawyer in asserting that the President is NOT a liar…


The man himself may not actually give that much of a damn.

So, let Mr. Comey accuse the President of being a liar.

Hell, let him accuse the man of offending the Shaolin temple. It’s doubtful that Trump would care.

Meanwhile, Jeff Sessions has other things to worry about.

As Prince Tamim Bin Hamad would say: “I’m not prepared to surrender.” Indeed, one needs some time to prepare for such development. 


As America continues to cede the moral high ground, the list of unlikely candidates rushing to fill in the void continues to grow.

And it’s not only about the moral high ground. Isolationist tendencies are often perceived as weakness and taken as an invitation to bring the battle to one’s doorsteps: Two charged in U.S. with providing material support to Hezbollah.

Meanwhile, in a land far far away and that keeps drifting further away…

THEATRUM DELIRIA


The Cloud Over My head – a short play in one act
Trump
Hey, there's a cloud hanging over my head.
Pence
That's actually you're stench Mr. President.
Trump
You're sure it's not my iTunes account?
Pence
Pretty sure. They've cancelled your iTunes account due to lack of payment.
Trump
You mean I don't get it for free? I'm the President.
Pence
Indeed you are. But getting stuff for free because you’re president may constitute a violation of the Emolument Clause.
Trump
The emol…what now?
Pence
You know that thing about conflict of interest.
Trump
Oh yeah. Let’s not talk about that.  
Pence
Yeah, we sorta never do Mr. President.
© Ammar Abdulhamid , 2017

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

The Night before the Anti-Climax

Mystery Solved  

After days of extensive research we can now assert beyond the shed of any doubt that “Covfefe” is actually an Arabanglish word. Arabanglish is an emerging language spoken by the Arabic-speaking diaspora in English speaking countries. As an equivalent to Spanglish, it combines Arabic and English vocabulary and borrows from Arabic and English grammar. As an Arabanglish word Covfefe simply means “Is there coffee?” The “v” in Covfe is actually silent and the word is actually a variant spelling of the English word “coffee,” just as “coffee” is, in fact, a variant spelling of the Arabic word “qahwa.” The last syllabus “fe” is from Arabic as well and it means, in this context at least, either “is there?” or “there is” depending on whether one is making a statement or asking a question? A common practice in Arabic. Linguistically speaking, then, the mystery of “Covfefe” is finally solved.

As to what President Trump actually meant by it, well, our DDGD sources embedded deep inside his inner psyche have managed to obtain this startling confession from the man himself.

Homo Democraticus

In his most recent interview, the renowned anthropologist Dr. Eric Trump is warning us of a burgeoning danger that has been slowly growing in our midst. Be afraid people. Be very fucking afraid. For are we are being invaded by…Democrats… And they are NOT people. I repeat, Democrats are NOT people. Please, feel free to soylent-brown your pants.  

Indeed, for long the extensive fieldwork that Dr. Trump has been undertaking in order to prove his hypothesis has been the subject of academic ridicule. This is no longer the case. With the global attention his research is now receiving, the phenomenon is going global.

An Important Message from the Dear Leader

For his part, the North Korean leader Kim Jon-Un has an important message for the American people regarding Trump and his decision to pull out of the Paris Accord. By bringing his immense moral authority to weigh in on the conversation, Jong-Un hopes to bring Trump supporters to finally see the light. His villainous light.

Not to be outdone by any of his colleagues, the leader of the Dark World, Russian President Vladimir Putin, is intensifying his charm offensive, meaning that he has just said more offensive things with a straight face than he has done in a long time, if not ever. He’s been building up towards this moment for a lifetime. 


Reality Fights Back

But the defenders of reality will not stay down and are fighting back. But “honesty is such a lonely word,” and will facts be enough? They are usually anti-climactic by nature, but our times keep crying out for the sensational.